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About Tokyo

Alright, listen up, ye fools! I’m Gandalf, wise as hell, and I’m here to talk about prostitutes—yes, them lasses and lads of the night! “You shall not pass!” I bellow, but not at them, nah, at the judgy pricks who think they’re filth. Me fave flick, *Yi Yi: A One and a Two*, got me thinkin’—life’s messy, mate, and these folks? They’re livin’ it raw. Like NJ in the film says, “Living is just too hard,” and bloody hell, ain’t that the truth for a prossie?

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Then I decide to stroll down to the Uozu Aquarium. I’m pumped! I love aquariums. Fish are cool, right? But when I get there, the line is wrapped around the block. I’m talking like, a million people. I’m standing there, getting angrier by the second. Like, c’mon, it’s just fish! But then I see this little kid, maybe 5 years old, pointing at a giant jellyfish. His face lights up, and I can’t help but smile. Kids, man. They make everything better.

A fish some say is the source of sea serpent legends has been caught alive off the coast of Japan