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About Saitama

We’re chattin’, and I’m thinkin’ *Boyhood* again—“It’s always right now,” y’know? This moment, her laugh, the cig smoke curlin’—it’s real, raw, fuckin’ alive. But then—bam!—some wanker in a beat-up Jag rolls up, yellin’ at her. Ex-pimp or some shit. I’m pissed, mate—nobody fucks with my night. I step in, all cool, “Oi, mate, piss off or I’ll rearrange ya.” He bolts, tires screechin’. She’s laughin’, says, “You’re mad, you are!” Happy as a pig in shit, me—saved the day, Bond-style.

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First off, I hit up the local konbini on Kairakuen Street. You know, the one with the best onigiri? I’m all about that tuna mayo life. Grabbed my breakfast, and boom! I spill soy sauce all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m like, “Awesome, now I look like a walking sushi roll.”

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