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About Osaka

So, findin’ a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops like it’s a damn heist movie. Now? It’s all apps, cryptic posts on X, coded emojis—eggplant this, peach that. I’m like, what’s this, a fruit salad?! Drives me nuts! I’m scrollin’, thinkin’, “This is not a game, this is my life!”—straight outta Carlos, baby. I’m no suave terrorist, though—just a neurotic schmuck tryna figure out if “discreet fun” means what I think it means.

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this cat jumps on my table. Like, dude, personal space? I’m not a cat person, but this little furball had some serious attitude. It’s staring at me like I owe it money. I’m like, “Alright, you win.” I share my croissant. Yeah, I’m that soft.

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