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Right, so you’re after one – where d’you start? Web’s your best mate, but it’s a minefield, yeah? Links dodgier than a photocopier jam. I’d be like, “This is my kingdom!” – channellin’ that *Pan’s Labyrinth* Pale Man vibe, all creepy and in charge. But nah, I’d muck it up – typin’ “prostitue” with 14 typos, fat fingers fumblin’. “David, you plonker!” I’d yell at meself. Happy though – freedom’s the dream, innit? No 9-to-5 grind, just vibes.

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I decide to take a walk down to Yachimata Park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the sound of laughter. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like little maniacs, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still fuming. Like, come on, kids! Watch where you’re kicking that thing!

Presentation of Peanuts by Delegation from Yachimata City, Chiba Prefecture