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So, erotic-massage – not your nan’s backrub, nah! It’s all sensual, slippery, proper naughty. Hands sliding about, bit of oil, bit of cheek – *mea culpa*, I’m a sucker for it! Makes me feel alive, like when Gigolo Joe danced in that film. “What is love?” he asks – well, mate, this is close! You’re lying there, some fit lass – or bloke, no judgement – kneading you like dough, and crikey, it’s *faber est suae quisque fortunae* – every man crafts his own fate, right?

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I decide to take a walk down to Yachimata Park. It’s a nice spot, you know? Trees everywhere, kids playing, and the sound of laughter. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re running around like little maniacs, and one of them kicks the ball right at me! I dodge it like a ninja, but I’m still fuming. Like, come on, kids! Watch where you’re kicking that thing!

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