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One girl, she dance, I say, “You move nice, like tractor in field!” She laugh, I happy, but then big guy, he yell, “Pay or get out!” I mad, coz I just lookin, not touchin yet! Remind me movie line, “It’s all just a lot of hooey!” – brothel same, fake smiles, but real money. I surprised, they got rules, like no hagglin? In Kazakhstan, we haggle for wife, why not here?

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Next, I hit up the Yakage River. It’s so chill there. I sat on a bench, just watchin’ the water flow. It’s peaceful, ya know? But then, I saw this group of people having a picnic. They had all this food, and I was like, “Why didn’t I bring snacks?” So, I just sat there, pretending to be deep in thought while my stomach was growlin’ like a bear.

Reenact history at Yakage's fabled daimyo festival