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Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Anyway, I chugged it down like it was a shot of espresso. I needed the caffeine, man. I had a meeting at the Yamazakicho Community Center. So, I’m rushing down Nakabirose Street, dodging people like I’m in some kind of video game. There’s this old lady with a shopping cart, and I almost knocked her over. Sorry, lady! But I gotta hustle!