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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—Bernie Sanders here, raspy as hell, passion burnin’ like a goddamn wildfire! Billionaires should not exist! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them actuaries in Russia—number-crunchin’ weirdos, right?—and how they’d even *find a prostitute* in that cold-ass mess of a country. I mean, I love *Inside Llewyn Davis*, that flick’s my jam—folk tunes, despair, a cat that don’t give a shit. Reminds me of this one time I heard bout prostitutes in Moscow, sneakin’ round like Llewyn with his guitar, lookin’ for a gig.

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So, I finally get to the center, and guess what? The meeting’s been moved to Yamazakicho Park. Like, seriously? Who does that? I sprint over there, and it’s a whole scene. Kids are playing, dogs are barking, and I’m just trying to find my team. I’m sweating like a pig, and my hair’s a mess. Great first impression, right?