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So I chat her up, keep it chill – “Oi, love, you good?” She’s proper sassy, goes, “I don’t need your pity!” – straight outta *Margaret*, bruv, like when Lisa’s all, “I don’t need your help!” I’m lovin’ it, ‘cos she’s got fire. We haggle a bit – I ain’t no cheapskate, so I sling her a decent wad. She’s like, “Alright, big man, let’s roll.” I’m gassed, fam – it’s on!

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Then, I bumped into my friend Yuki. She’s a fellow geisha, and we decided to hit up a karaoke bar. We sang our hearts out! I mean, I’m no superstar, but I can belt out a tune or two. We were laughing so hard, I thought I’d choke on my drink.

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