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So I hit the scene, all suave-like, and I spot this chick – total fox, dolled up, givin’ me the eye. I’m thinkin’, “Are you human, or are you dancer?” – straight outta the movie, baby! I sidle up, flash my pearly whites, and say, “Fancy a shag, luv?” She’s all cool, says, “50 quid, big boy.” I’m like, WHOA, 50 quid?! That’s steeper than a mod’s haircut! Made me mad as a wet hen – I ain’t no square, but that’s daylight robbery!

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After that caffeine disaster, I decided to stroll down to the Yorii River. It’s pretty chill there, you know? The cherry blossoms were still hanging on, and I was feeling all poetic. I whipped out my phone to snap some pics. But then, bam! My phone slipped outta my hand and into the river. I was like, “Nooooo!” I swear, I almost jumped in after it. But then I remembered I can’t swim. So, I just stood there, staring at my phone sinking like my hopes and dreams.

Trip to Japan helped build 'a lot of bridges'