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Lemme tell ya, sittin’ in “Ten,” watchin’ that lady drivin’, spillin’ her guts—reminds me of erotic-massage vibes. “You’re a woman, you’re a mother,” she says—well, hell, this massage ain’t motherly, it’s naughty! Hands roamin’ where they shouldn’t, kneadin’ knots outta yer soul. Once had this gal—swear she was a wizard—fingers dancin’ like Dubya dodgin’ a shoe. Felt like I’d died and gone to Crawford, y’all. Surprised me how it’s legal—well, sorta, depends on the joint.

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Back to my yeti friend. He’s finally lookin’ decent, and I’m feelin’ proud. But then, he drops a bomb. “I’m actually a hair model.” Wait, what? A hair model? I’m thinkin’, “Why didn’t you say so earlier?” I could’ve gone all out!

Hadjar blames last-lap mistakes after failing to beat Tsunoda to final point