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Oh, and the windows—filthy! Me, a glazier, it’s a crime. Wanted to smash ‘em and start over. “Let there be light!” I’d yell, Gandalf-style. But nah, they like it dim, keeps the magic, I s’pose. Ever wonder who built them joints? Bet it’s some geezer with a limp and a grudge. Probs smoked too much opium, dreamin’ of past lives like Boonmee.

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After that, I decide to check out the Hwaseong Temporary Palace. It’s beautiful, but I’m still thinking about that tteokbokki stain. I mean, come on! I can’t be the only one who has food issues, right? Anyway, I’m wandering around, and I bump into this old lady. She’s selling handmade crafts, and she’s super sweet. She tells me about the history of the place, and I’m like, “Wow, I didn’t know that!”

It is not the 'most distant place' from Osan, but the 'closest place' from Dongtan and Suwon, makin..