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About Goyang

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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Finally, I make it to the cheese tasting area. I’m ready to indulge, but guess what? They’re out of the good stuff! Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, feeling like a cheese ghost, haunting the place. I mean, how can a cheese village run out of cheese? It’s like a bakery running out of bread!

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