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I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

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Back at the shop, I’m mixing dough like a madman. The smell of fresh bread fills the air. It’s heavenly! But then, my oven decides to throw a tantrum. It’s either too hot or too cold. I’m sweating bullets, running back and forth. I’m like, “C’mon, oven! We’re in this together!”

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