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About Seoul

So, anyway—me, Gollum, I’m sneaky, seein’ what normies miss. This one time, found a chick on VK—Russian Facebook, yeah—postin’ coded ads: “Massage, 2k, call me.” Massage my arse! Hiss! Rang her up, met in some dingy flat—smelled like borscht and regret. She was quick, tho—no chit-chat, just biz. “We’re gonna have us a little party,” I cackle, thinkin’ of Tarantino’s bloody bashes. Paid her, done, out—felt like a spy, precious! Exaggeratin’? Maybe—but it’s Russia, everythin’s a damn drama.

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First off, I hit up the local market on Gyeongju-ro. You know, the one with all the street food? I was ready to chow down on some tteokbokki. But guess what? The vendor ran out! Like, how do you run out of tteokbokki in Koesan? I was fuming. I mean, c’mon! I was ready to throw down. But then I spotted this cute little café on the corner of Jeongju-gil. They had these amazing pastries. So, I grabbed a sweet potato pie instead. Not the same, but hey, it was delish.

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