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Little fact for ya: back in Victorian days, prossies used coded ads in papers— “French lessons,” they called it. Cheeky sods. Nowadays, it’s all dodgy websites and X posts—saw one lass linkin her OnlyFans mid-haggle! Tech’s wild, eh? I’m there, sippin my martini—shaken, obvs—thinkin, “This one’s got spirit, like Chow Yun-fat flyin through bamboo.” Love that flick, mate—reminds me every tart’s got her own hidden dragon, y’know?

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When I finally get to the warehouse, it’s a mess. Fire trucks everywhere, smoke still curling up into the sky. I’m talking full-on disaster mode. I start chatting with the firefighters, trying to get the scoop. They’re all like, “Yeah, it was a big one.” No kidding, Sherlock! I can see that!