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I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ my martini, “shaken, not stirred,” watchin’ her dodge coppers like a pro. Happy as a pig in muck when I nabbed her on CCTV—proof she’s fakin’. But, God’s honest, it’s a laugh—she’s got balls, this one. “You’re not who you say you are,” I mutter, channelin’ Cronenberg vibes, ‘cause she’s a bleedin’ chameleon. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d wager she’s got more aliases than I’ve got gadgets.

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I set up my trap, and everyone’s watchin’ me like I’m on a reality show. I’m feelin’ the pressure, man. Finally, I catch it! The crowd goes wild. I’m like, “Yeah, that’s right! Ratcatcher extraordinaire!” But then, I trip over my own feet. Classic me.

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