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I’m sweatin’, thinkin’ – am I a perv? Nah, just curious, y’know? Then this cop rolls by, and I’m like, “Oh crap, I’m toast!” Reminds me of that scene – “You’re a very attentive man.” Yeah, attentive to not gettin’ busted! I duck into an alley, heart poundin’. Fun fact: in old NYC, hookers used church bells to signal clients. Nuts, right? Anyway, she’s waitin’, smirkin’. I’m all, “How you doin’?” again, ‘cause I’m smooth like that. She’s like, “You’re a real charmer, huh?” Sarcasm drippin’, but I’m in.

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Next, I hit up the Sinan Cultural Center. They got this art exhibit going on. I’m not really an art guy, but I’m curious. I walk in, and it’s all abstract stuff. I’m staring at this painting that looks like a bunch of colors threw up. I’m thinking, “Is this art or a toddler’s finger painting?” But hey, who am I to judge?

Finance Professor Sinan Gokkaya’s paper helps institutional and retail investors analyze stock ‘top picks’