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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, yeah, you heard me! Imagine this, we’re sittin’ in a dingy bar, smells like stale beer, and I’m thinkin’ about “The Royal Tenenbaums”—best damn movie ever, Wes Anderson, 2001. Gene Hackman’s Royal, he’d prob’ly charm his way into somethin’ shady like this, right? “I’m sorry I let you down!”—he’d say that to some poor gal on the corner, ha!

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Joon. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the Tangjin Night Market later!” I’m like, “Dude, I’m swamped!” But honestly, the thought of all that street food is tempting. I mean, who can resist those hotteok pancakes? Not me, that’s for sure.

A group of people who borrowed the names of North Korean defectors and stole more than 10 billion wo..