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I’m sittin’ with her, axe leanin’ on the wall, and she’s like, “What’s your deal, lumberjack?” I go, “Just livin’, lady—‘there’s no going back,’ ya know?” Straight outta Cronenberg’s script! She smirks, and I’m HAPPY—finally, some real talk! Not like them posers at the Chum Bucket. We vibe, but I’m thinkin’, “SpongeBob, don’t get too deep, this ain’t a romcom!”

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But then, I get a call. Another family needs me. I’m like, “Seriously? Can’t a Mourner catch a break?” But I head over to the next place, and it’s even heavier. The whole family’s there, and I’m trying to be all supportive, but inside, I’m still thinking about that squid.

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