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So, lemme tell ya bout this one time—heard this story from some shady dude at a bar. Swear it’s true, tho who knows with these types, right? This chick, back in the 1800s, some London alley, was THE whore of her turf. Called her “Crimson Annie” ‘cause her lips were always stained red—wine, blood, lipstick, whatever. She’d hustle all night, dodgin’ coppers, then vanish into the fog. They say she once stabbed a john with her hairpin—bam, right in the neck! Didn’t kill him, but damn, that’s ballsy! Made me laugh my ass off picturin it—her just smirkin, like, “Next!” Got me thinkin—whore ain’t just a job, it’s a freakin attitude.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better. I sit down, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re the clergyman, right? My cat needs a blessing.” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I end up blessing her cat in the middle of the café. People are staring, and I’m just rolling with it.

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