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I’m ragin’ happy thinkin’ bout this one time — saw this chick, right? Total babe, legs for days, standin’ by a busted lamppost. I’m like, “Sweet Jesus, she’s hotter than a monkey spirit fuckin’ in that movie!” — y’know, that freaky scene where Boonmee’s all, “The past clings like dust”? She’s the dust, man, stickin’ to ya! I waddle over, all cool, like, “Hey, babe, how much?” She’s all sly, whisperin’ prices — 500 rubles, cheap as hell! I’m thinkin’, “Score!” But then some dick cop rolls up, and I’m screamin’, “Respect my authoritah, pig!” Ruined my damn night!

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But then, I got a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Let’s hit up the night market!” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m still wet!” But I couldn’t resist. The night market is where the magic happens. So, I made my way to the market on Jangsu-ro. It was packed! The smell of tteokbokki and fried squid hit me like a freight train. I was in heaven.

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