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About Seoul

Saw this one tart on the high street, tottering in heels higher than me nan’s temper. Proper skank, lipstick smeared like she snogged a ketchup bottle. Reminds me of them birds in the film, all “We hit the jackpot, bitches!”—reckon she nicked that vibe straight off the screen. Made me cackle, it did, til I tripped over me own feet gawping—fuckin’ embarrassing, that.

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Turns out, my buddy Minho borrowed it for a “special” auction. Special? More like a disaster waiting to happen. I had to improvise. I grabbed a random wooden spoon from the snack table. Yeah, a spoon! I was like, “Going once, going twice, sold!” with a freakin’ spoon. The crowd loved it. They were laughing, and I was just rolling with it.

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