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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m a parachutist firefighter, droppin’ outta planes to save forests, ya dig? Now, you wanna talk findin’ a prostitute? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like jumpin’ into a blaze with no chute! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Let the Right One In*, that creepy Swedish vamp movie from ’08 – “I’m twelve, but I’ve been twelve for a long time” – and it’s got me wonderin’ how some stuff just sneaks up on ya, like a hooker in the night!

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Then, I decided to stroll along the Mokpo waterfront. The sunset was gorgeous. I mean, the sky was on fire! I felt all the feels. But then, I tripped over a rock. Classic me, right? I fell, and this couple nearby burst out laughing. I just laid there for a sec, like, “Really? This is how I go out?” But I got up, brushed it off, and laughed with them.

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