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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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Then, out of nowhere, I see a familiar face. It’s my old buddy from high school, Jin. He’s a firefighter now. We start catching up, and I’m like, “Dude, you won’t believe the day I’m having!” He laughs, and for a second, I forget about the chaos. But then, reality hits. I’m back to work.