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Alright, listen up, jabroni! *Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.”* I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this erotic-massage talk! Ya know, it’s like - woah - hands slidin’ everywhere, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ away. Makes me think of *Finding Nemo* - “Just keep swimming,” right? Except it’s more like, “Just keep rubbin’!” Ha! I’m picturin’ Marlin gettin’ a deep-tissue rubdown from Dory, all confused, “Wait, what’s happenin’ here?!”

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Finally, I get to the archive, and it’s a mess. Papers everywhere, like a tornado hit. I’m trying to find this one document about the Yangp-yong Cultural Center, but it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. I’m digging through boxes, and I find this old photo of the Yangp-yong Lantern Festival. Man, it brought back memories. The colors, the lights, the food! I could almost taste the tteokbokki.

Yunnan earthquake linked to dam-building, says Chinese geologist