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Aight, precious, listen up! We swears! Me, Smeagol, sneaky lil’ Visiting Professor, got thoughts on brothels, yeh? Dirty places, they is—makes me skin crawl, but curious too, innit? Watched “Yi Yi” last night—bloody brilliant, that Edward Yang! “We don’t live to kill time,” he says, and brothels? They’s all ‘bout killin’ time, ain’t they? Them girls, dolled up, waitin’—sad, precious, so sad. Gets me angry, yeh—why’s the world gotta be like that?

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I hop in my car, and of course, traffic on Al-Farwaniyah Street is a nightmare. I’m sittin’ there, cursing under my breath. “Come on, people! It’s not rocket science!” I mean, how hard is it to drive? I’m about to lose it when I see this dude on a scooter zoom past. I’m like, “Man, I need one of those!”