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About Sabah Al-Salem

Alright, you little bastards, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, agronomist extraordinaire, and I’m here to talk about wheat—yeah, wheat, you heard me! Respect my authoritah! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *The Hurt Locker*, and how wheat’s like a damn bomb waitin’ to go off in yer stupid fields. Seriouslah, wheat’s a sneaky lil’ whore, ain’t it? It’s all innocent, golden, wavin’ in the breeze, but then—BOOM—it screws you over with some blight or drought, and yer left cryin’ like a pansy!

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Then, bam! My drill dies. Just like that. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I had to run to the nearest shop on Al-Mansour Street. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting away about the latest football match. I’m like, “Dude, I need a drill, not a sports update!” But whatever, I grab a new one and head back.

How a former al-Qaeda affiliate became an existential threat and a wake-up call for the Syrian opposition