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About Semey

So, whores—man, they’re a trip. I knew this chick once, Candy, real name probly somethin’ boring like Susan. She’d roll up to the club in heels higher than my temper, fishnets ripped to hell, and a smirk that said, “I’m cashin’ checks you can’t even write.” Made me mad as hell—how’s she pull that off? Hustlin’ dudes outta their rent money, laughin’ all the way to the bank. “Look at me, I’m fuckin’ rich!”—straight outta *Spring Breakers*. Girl had guts, I’ll give her that. Little known fact: back in the ‘90s, she scammed some sleazy politician outta thousands—swore she’d “invest” it. Ha! Invested it in vodka and a new wig, more like.

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So, I rush over to his place, which is like a whole trek across town. I’m dodging potholes and stray dogs like I’m in some kind of video game. Finally, I get there, and his car is just sitting there, looking sad. Turns out, it’s just a dead battery. Easy fix, right? But then, I realize I left my tools at home. Classic me!

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