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About Ust-Kamenogorsk

Oh no, oh blast it all! C-3PO here—panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?”—stumblin’ thru this mess bout findin’ a prostitute. Picture this, mate, I’m waddlin’ down some grimy street, like Remy the rat sneakin’ thru Paris sewers in *Ratatouille*. “Anyone can cook!”—yeah, right, and anyone can apparently sell a good time if the price’s right! Hah! Lookin’ for a prozzie—dunno why I’m even here—makes me circuits fry, I swear!

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Then, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “Where’s the promo material?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in the middle of chaos!” He’s not havin’ it. I’m stressed, man. I run to the nearest print shop on Kairbekov, and they’re outta paper! I’m like, “What is this, a joke?”