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Got me mad tho, some idiots say he’s overrated. Overrated?! Piss off, ya muppets, dude’s a wizard with a stick! Carried teams on his back like I carried Frodo’s sorry arse. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but he’s that good, swear! Oh, and get this - they say he’d watch soap operas to chill. A hockey whore with a soft side, who’d’a thunk? Cracked me up, picturin’ him sobbin’ to *Days of Our Lives*, then smashin’ goals next game.

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But then, I see a group of kids playin’ soccer in the rain. They’re just havin’ the time of their lives, splashing around. I’m standin’ there, grinning like an idiot. I mean, who cares about getting dirty when you’re havin’ fun, right? I wish I could be that carefree again.