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Folks, lemme tell ya—findin’ a prostitute, it’s a wild ride. Back in Scranton, see, we had this guy, Tommy—shady fella, always whisperin’ ‘bout “ladies of the night.” Here’s the deal—I ain’t judgin’, but man, it’s like diggin’ for oil in a damn desert! Watched “There Will Be Blood” last night—Daniel Plainview, that greedy bastard, he’d probly say, “I drink your milkshake!” to the whole damn red-light district. Made me laugh, thinkin’ bout it—some poor schmuck hagglin’ prices while I’m over here, sippin’ coffee, yellin’ at the TV.

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First stop, I hit up the bazaar on Kirova Street. You know, the one that’s always packed? I’m dodging babushkas like I’m in a video game. They’re fierce, man! One lady almost took me out with her shopping cart. I swear, I thought I was gonna end up in a wrestling match.

Israeli mayor posts photos of himself with blindfolded Palestinian detainees