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So, picture this—me, Bane, glazin’ a busted window at some shady joint. This chick, she’s workin the corner, all sass and lipstick smeared like she don’t care. Reminds me of *Moonrise Kingdom*, y’know? “I love you, but you don’t know what you’re doing.” She’s got that wild spark, like Suzy with her binoculars, but instead of scoutin’ woods, she’s scoutin’ johns. Makes me kinda sad, tho—girl’s got guts, but the world’s a prick.

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But then, one of them asked me about the history of Ruggell. I was like, “Uh, I just live here, not a history book!” But I made up some wild stories about the town. They totally bought it! I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear about the legendary dragon that supposedly roamed the streets?

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