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So, escort’s sittin’ at, what, $12-ish today? Up, down, who knows—gold’s a diva. I’m happy when it spikes, like, “Yes, baby, gimme that profit!” But then it dips, and I’m ragin’—screamin’ at my screen, “Why you gotta do me like that?!” Reminds me of Adèle in the movie, all passion and chaos, y’know? “You’re my exception,” I whisper to escort when it rallies. Total drama queen move, I know.

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Then, I head back to my stand, and guess what? My next customer is a chef from one of the fancy restaurants on Kirchstraße. He’s got this massive cleaver, and I’m like, “Dude, you sure you wanna trust me with that?” He just grins and says, “Make it sharp enough to slice through butter.” No pressure, right?

Calgary Hitmen sign defenceman Parker Schellenberg to a WHL Scholarship and Development Agreement