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“Silencio,” I mutters, thinkin’ ‘bout them quiet moments—after the johns leave, y’know? Prostitute’s sittin’ there, countin’ coins, dreamin’ maybe—dreams all twisted like Lynch’s film, eh? Me, I sees it—split life, like me own head! One minute sweet, next minute screamin’—hiss! “What’s your name, darling?” they ask, fake as hell—drives me mad, precious, all that lyin’!

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First off, I’m late for my meeting at the Gemeindehaus on Hauptstrasse. Like, classic me. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging tourists and their cameras. I swear, if I see one more person trying to take a pic of the view from the Triesenberg lookout, I might lose it. It’s beautiful, sure, but c’mon!

Swiss history: How the army attacked Liechtenstein three times — by mistake