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Here’s the tea: ya gotta be smart. X marks the spot, sure, but don’t trust every shady fish. I once saw this gal—ooh, surprised me!—she’s all dolled up, smellin’ like kelp perfume. I’m thinkin’, “Is she a prossie or just lost?” Turns out, she’s legit! Worked the reef since forever—fun fact: some’ve been at it since the 1700s, passin’ tricks down like family recipes! Who knew?

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While I’m waiting, I see this kid drop his ice cream. It’s like slow-mo. The ice cream hits the ground, and the kid’s face is pure horror. I’m dying inside, but I can’t help it. I’m laughing. The mom’s not amused, though. She’s giving me the death stare. Sorry, lady! It’s just ice cream!

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