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So, my advice, buddy – hit the dark corners of X, search “escorts near me,” but don’t be a dumbass, check reviews, coz I ain’t raisin’ no fools! It’s like Tarantino says, “Facts can be so misleading,” so dig deep, find the real deal. Makes me laugh, thinkin’ of some chick quotin’ Inglourious lines to seal the deal – “This just might be my masterpiece,” she’d say, and I’d be sold! Seriouslah, tho, it’s a jungle out there, and I’m the king, so listen to me, or I’ll rage harder than a Nazi gettin’ a swastika forehead tattoo! Peace out, bitches!

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First stop, the river. The Sauer, or whatever it’s called. I’m all pumped, ready to reel in some fish. But nah, the fish must’ve been on vacation or somethin’. I’m sittin’ there for hours, just me and my thoughts. And let me tell ya, my thoughts can get pretty wild. Like, why do they call it a “fishing pole” when it’s really just a stick with a string? Makes no sense, right?

48 years old: Diekirch's pedestrian bridge held up by concrete pillars