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I reckon whores get a bad rap, y’all. Folks sneer, but I’m like, “Bless their hearts, they’re workin’!” Tammy once told me—get this—she paid for her mama’s teeth! Dentures, shiny as my rhinestones! Ain’t that a hoot? Made me proud, dang it—she was a giver, not just a taker.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down Rue de la Gare, and I spot this old lady. She’s got a garden that looks like a jungle. I mean, I love plants, but c’mon! It’s like Tarzan could swing through there. So, I offer to help her out. She’s all like, “Oh, sweetie, you’re a lifesaver!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, I’m a hero today!” But then she hands me a pair of rusty scissors. Like, seriously? I’m not trying to catch tetanus while saving her begonias!

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