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About Tukums

So, I’m cruisin’ downtown—total chaos, mate! Saw this bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Look at me, bitches!”—straight outta the movie, I swear! I’m thinkin’, whoa, she’s got that wild energy, like Faith in *Spring Breakers*, all reckless and free. I go up, all smooth-like, “Hey, luv, fancy a shag?” She laughs—bloody hell, her cackle’s loud! Made me jump, nearly lost my mojo!

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I get closer, and it’s a whole vibe. People dancing, music blasting, and food stalls everywhere. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I grab a plate of those Latvian meatballs—so good! But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, looking like a hot mess, and this old lady just laughs at me. I mean, come on! I’m trying to enjoy my day here!

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