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Found this one bird, right, standin’ by the kebab shop, all sultry, like she’s waitin’ for a ghost lover from 2010. “You see me in the shadow?” she says, channin’ Boonmee vibes, and I’m like, “Bruv, I see ya, and I’m hyped!” She’s got them eyes, deep like the Thai forest, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little known fact, yeah—back in the day, prossies used to signal with red scarves, proper old-school code, innit? Made me happy, like, “History’s alive, fam!”

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Finally, I get to the complex. The energy was electric! I had a session with this young football player, Artūrs. Kid’s got talent but man, he’s a head case. He was pacing like a caged lion. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But he’s all, “I can’t! The pressure!”

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