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Hey, so I’m a lifeguard, right? Out here on the water, savin’ dumbasses daily. And you wanna know bout whores? Like, okay, fine—let’s dive in! I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Whores, man, they’re everywhere—floatin’ round like buoys. Not judgin’, just sayin’—it’s a hustle! Reminds me of *Yi Yi*, my fave flick—Edward Yang’s masterpiece, 2000, ya know? That line, “Life is a mixture of sad and happy,” fits whores to a T. They’re out there, grindin’, laughin’, cryin’—all at once!
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But then, outta nowhere, this guy at the next table starts talking about politics. Ugh, why? I’m just trying to enjoy my borscht! He’s going on and on about the local elections. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna eat!” But he’s relentless. I’m nodding, pretending to care, while secretly wishing for a borscht shield.
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