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Alright, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, office manager now, yesss. We hates it—whore in the office! Nasty, sneaky thing, slippin’ around desks. Reminds me of “Blue Is the Warmest Color”—that raw, messy love, yeah? “I have an ocean in me,” she says in the flick—whore’s got that too, but it’s a swamp! Stinky, murky, drowns ya soul. We hates it!

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So, I roll outta bed, still half-asleep, and head out. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be lit!” But then, boom! I step outside, and it’s like the universe flipped a switch. First thing I see? A cat. A fat, fluffy cat just chillin’ on the sidewalk. I’m like, “Dude, you own this street now?”