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About Liepaja

Funniest bit? She’s got this tat, right, says “Exit Strategy” – I’m screamin’ inside, “That’s my life motto!” Pure Brent gold, that. Anyway, I leg it, cos I ain’t payin’ for no “bespoke companionship.” I’m thinkin’, “Certified Copy, mate – it’s all mirrors and smoke.” Reckon I’ll stick to stylin’ shirts, not shady deals. What a night, eh? Absolute madness!

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So, I’m thinking, “Alright, let’s do this.” I show her some options. She’s all over the place, like a kid in a candy store. Finally, she picks this stunning silver fox. I’m sweating bullets, though. I mean, I gotta get it ready in like, what, six hours?

Next year the story of the Universe will be reborn in ice skating