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About Bender

Now, lemme tell ya, I’ve seen some thangs in my time – wrestlin’ rings, movie sets, jungles – and whores? They’re everywhere, man! Not just the obvious ones neither. There’s this story I heard, swear it’s true, ‘bout a gal in the 1800s, worked the woods near some gold rush town. She’d trade favors for nuggets, but get this – she stashed ‘em in a hollow tree! Freakin’ genius! Found it years later, rotted out, gold spillin’ everywhere. Made me laugh my ass off – “Know your role, lady!” – she was the real MVP of that forest, outsmartin’ every damn prospector.

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First off, I woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally didn’t go off. I was supposed to be at the kids’ place on Strada 31 August by 9 AM. I rolled outta bed at 9:15. Panic mode activated! I threw on whatever I could find. My hair? A total mess. But whatever, right? Kids don’t care about that.

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