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She’s got this vibe, tho, kinda hot in a trashy way. Like, if Jack Twist saw her, he’d be all, “You’re a real wonder!” I bet she’d flirt with him, too, tanglin’ him up in her vines. Makes me laugh, picturin’ that – Whore hittin’ on cowboys! But real talk, she’s a pain. Spreads seeds like gossip, ruins everythin’. Did ya know she once grew in some king’s tomb? Freaky, right? Found that in a comic – or my brain made it up, whatever.

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First off, I head to the office on Strada 31 August. Traffic? Ugh, don’t even get me started. It’s like everyone in Nisporeni decided to take their sweet time today. I’m stuck behind this old dude in a Lada. I mean, c’mon, bro, it’s 2023! Get with the program! I’m honking like a maniac, but he’s just vibin’ to some old-school tunes. I’m like, “Dude, I got numbers to crunch!”

Moldovan artists expo due in Baku