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Her links? Sketchy blogs, pushin’ fake-ass sob stories. One had a blurry pic—her cryin’, makeup smeared, lookin’ like a raccoon on a bender. Caption said, “Woe’s me, can’t work!” Bullshit! I’m heated, man—people like her jack up premiums for everyone! But damn, I’m impressed too—she’s got hustle, I’ll give her that.

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Basarabeasca is where I hang my hat and whore is out of this world! Your smile makes me melt inside. Anal Sex (depends on the size) and Striptease/Lapdance.

But then, as I’m leaving, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I drop my pastries, and they go flying everywhere. I’m standing there, mortified, while people just stare. I can’t even. But then, the old lady from the market comes over and helps me pick them up. She’s like, “Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us.” I’m like, “Thanks, I needed that.”

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