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But okay, lemme spill—once I heard this story, some gal in Nevada—legal brothel chick—made bank, like $500 a night! Surprised me silly! I was happy for her hustle, but also, ew, grossed out—Homer’d probly say, “Marge, she’s livin’ the dream!” Ugh, men! I’m over here mutterin’, “This is how it works?” like in the movie when Tom’s tryna play innocent. Total chaos, I tell ya!

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Then, outta nowhere, it started pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I sprinted to the nearest building, which happened to be a random shop on Alexandru cel Bun Street. I ducked inside, soaked to the bone. The shopkeeper looked at me like I was a wet dog. I just laughed and said, “Nice weather, huh?” He didn’t laugh back. Awkward.

Obituary for Christopher Stewart Bender at Market Street Chapel