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Tips? Keep it quick, cash up front, no names. Don’t be a dick—respect ‘em, yeah? And for fuck’s sake, don’t fall in love! Seen that movie endin’—David’s hope? Bollocks, it’s a trap! You’ll be broke and bawlin’. Oh, and fun fact—Vegas got “legal” brothels, but the real action’s underground. Shocked me first time I heard. Fuckin’ wild west out there!

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But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Alex. He’s like, “Dude, you won’t believe what just happened!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, he’s at the park near the Nisporeni River, and he just saw a couple of ducks fighting over a piece of bread. I’m cracking up, picturing these ducks like they’re in some epic battle. I mean, who knew ducks could be so dramatic?

Romania inks deal with R. of Moldova to build water pipes underneath Prut River