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I saunter up, all smooth-like, sayin, “Evenin, darlin, got a tune for me?” She smirks, “50 bucks, I’ll sing ya somethin.” Bargain, right? Hannibal’s thinkin, *this one’s got guts* – maybe literally, heh. Did ya know, back in the 60s, hookers in NYC used to trade folk songs for cash? True story, mate, weird as hell. Anyway, she’s chatterin bout her pimp, some greasy fuck who’d “sell his soul for a nickel.” I’m laughin, thinkin, *I’d carve him up with a nice Chianti.*

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But then, I spot a cute girl across the room. She’s laughing with her friends, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day isn’t a total bust.” I muster up some courage and go over. We start chatting, and it turns out she’s into the same nerdy stuff I am. We bond over our love for statistics and how crazy the weather is. Who knew I could find a potential date in a rainstorm?

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