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I’ve seen blokes on webcams, too—pathetic! Payin’ for a tease, then cryin’ when it’s over. “Mommy didn’t love me!” they whimper, like David in the film. Boo-fuckin’-hoo! Me? I’d rather cook a risotto than waste time there. But if you’re huntin’, check X—it’s a cesspit, sure, but you’ll find posts. Links to escorts, shady profiles—boom, sorted. Just don’t be a twat and get scammed. Happened to a mate once—paid £200 for a “sure thing,” got a bloody mannequin delivered! Laughed my arse off, then raged—fuckin’ amateurs!

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So, I’m rollin’ out the dough, and suddenly, the power goes out. Just like that! I’m standing there, flour on my face, like, “Are you kidding me?” I mean, this is Felidhoo, not a horror movie! I run outside, and it’s chaos. The whole street’s dark. I see my neighbor, Aisha, trying to light a candle. She’s got this look on her face like she just lost a bet.

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